Funny thing about being home for months, I lost my inspiration and confidence! How was that even possible? Photography has been at the forefront of my mind now for years. I grapple to learn everything I can, study every amazing photographer I come across and ask lengthy, albeit I'm sure some annoying questions from those I admire the most.
I enjoyed being home for awhile. As a self proclaimed introvert I often struggle with small talk and meeting new people. People are the lifeline of my business! My fears of all of that never materialize of course and everyone I have welcomed into my studio have been amazingly kind and often share my own fears. Some of my client have become friends and that I am so grateful for.
About a month after I had to close my studio, I walked into it and looked around and that yearning to create wasn't there. Could it just be from stress and anxiety over our current situation? My worry for those I love the most in the world? Totally possible. A few weeks later I looked through my portfolio and just felt I can do better, I need to work harder and learn more and practice more. I finally decided I needed to put someone in front of my camera and see how I feel. Luckily that same day I had several hours where just my daughter was alone with me, so I did what every tog-parent does: I bribed her! I offered loads of candy and a pretty dress to wear. She promptly sat down in the most 3 year old way possible and after some laughs she positioned herself as she loves to watch me work and with her "soft smiling face" as I always tell my children, I was able to capture her sweet face.
How beautiful is my Madeline? Yes, I'll always have my "mommy eyes" for her but her grace and joy I feel is so evident in this image. Her spunk and zest for life are some of the things I love the most about her. She came into this world 3.5 years after our son and she has made our family whole.
After working with her for about 30 minutes I felt my mojo come back. We all strive to do better and be better and I think that comes just from being human. If we all feel that we know everything and have nothing more to gain; that's when our work becomes stagnant. I feel that it is that way with most things in life. To be an expert, according to Malcom Gladwell, you need to practice and work for 10,000 hours. That quite possibly can be true! Although I think some areas in life require much more, like parenting!
So, I'm curious to know, those that have been home this whole time, what have you done to keep your mental health up and or your creative juices going? If you are struggling, know there are many of us who are feeling much the same and you aren't alone. It's ok to mourn the things we have lost or had to cancel. I now those that thrive on social interaction are struggling the most and I see you and hear you. Let me know in the comments how you are doing. Biggest virtual hugs!